TK-861's Field Reports

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Following are a few Rebroadcasts of actual Field Reports sent to the Home Galaxy by TK861. If you're wondering what the specific name of that specific galaxy is... forget it, that's *classified* information. However, TK861 felt it was not a breach of security to share a few reports of his actual Terran encounters.

Report Index: Arranged from current to the very first report

23 |22 |21 |20 |19 |18 |17 |16 |15 |14 |13

12 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2| 1

 

Field Report #23

Time: 0530 Local
Date: 2011.03.12
Location: Sector XV34a; NAF El Centro, CA

Officer's Comments: 2 HK members hauled ass on a midnight run to meet up with two other HK's (the Founding Fathers of the notorious Black Sheep Trooper Squadron) at the edge of NAF El Centro, California. This Naval Air Facility is home to the Blue Angels Flight Demonstration Team and a training ground for.... well, stuff. After a quick meetup, we were on base at 0600 and provided a unique layer of Security during the annual flight demonstration kick-off. Following is a great summary Mission Report, as filed by Lesley F., the skipper of the SoCal Garrison:

On Saturday, our day started pretty early as one group left from LA, and the other from San Diego. By 645, everyone had arrived on site and gotten into our dressing area, which was the Ordinance shop in Hangar 3. Since we had two hours before we had to get dressed, we took a leisurely stroll around the site, getting to see planes like Man O War, a C-17 Cargo plane, and a B-17 bomber....and so many more. We also spied the Imperial Police Department and just knew we'd have to stop by there in costume. We were allowed to hop inside the B-17, and got to see the cargo/passenger space, go through the radio section, and even take a look at the bomb bay.

At 9 am, we were ready to rock, and got about 30 feet outside the hangar and were shortly after mobbed by fans. It took over 2 hours for us to make it up and down one row of the show, as we were stopped every few feet, if we were allowed to move at all! Fans young and old posed for pictures, we arrested many, "shot" a few, and scared only 1 or 2. We got many opportunities to thank current active duty members of the military for their service and sacrifice.

At 1230, we were "escorted" by a special detail of Navy MP's to our next duty station at the helicopter displays and helo pad. 1 part of the group went to do crowd control and picture duty with the help of some of the MP's, while the rest of us when to do escort duty for the SAR Helicopter from Fallon AFB--walking it from the Helo pad where it had just landed back to its parking spot with the rest of the helo's. During our walk to the Helo display, we were once again mobbed by the fans, and the MP's had a hard time with the crowds!

After our escort duty was over, we joined the Federal Fire service firefighters on the flightline for front row seats to watch the Blue Angels perform, and also to grab some grub.

After the Blue Angels were done, we suited down for the day, and packed up while we waited to get back to our cars. Then, with Chief Haugh, we went over to the Mirage club for the after party for some drinks and food before heading home.

I have to say this is the best treatment we've ever received! Full access to food/drinks/snacks, a nice comfy and cool rest area, transport via golf cart and shuttle, no problems with parking and access, and many many grateful folks that made things happen. The Base XO came to thank us personally and gave us each challenge coins that are dated and numbered! Dean and Sam also received Chiefs Mess medals from Chief Haugh for coming out to the Food Fest.

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Field Report #22 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2007.01.01
Location: Sector XG4a; Pasadena & Universal City, CA

Officer's Comments: Participation in the 118th Tournament of Roses Parade. One week of precision drill marching and maneuvers, with an equal emphasis on meeting up with old and new friends and PARTY. Work hard - play hard. The Mother of all Trooping events.

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Field Report #21 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2002.10.31
Location: Sector XG4b; Universal City Walk, Universal City

Officer's Comments: Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones debuted on the BIG screen at IMAX theater locations around the USA. LucasFilm Ltd. gave fans quite the compliment by encouraging (and working with us) to appear opening day in armor. We did. Mark Hoag (TK-638) was present and filed the following Report:

Well, today was interesting apparently a local entertainment company called Lucasfilm found some historical records and had them restored on something they are calling IMAX (it's good but damn, I miss my holo projector). Got to mingle with L.I.P.'s (Local indigenous personnel), posed for many pictures... man, can't wait until this PR tour of duty is over. I need to get some ewok target-shooting in.

On a related tangent issue traffic control here in this place called California is non existent.. man, I'm stuck driving myself due to lack of Lambda class shuttles in an outmoded internal combustion vehicle that actually uses wheels (can't believe they haven't figured out how to make repulser lifts here on earth yet). This place is such a backwater, I long for the days when my commander used to threaten us to a tour of duty on Tatooine.

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Field Report #20 back to top of page

Time: 1900
Date: 2002.10.31
Location: Sector
XK4la (West Hollywood Carnival- Halloween 2002)

Officer's Comments: The Garrison conducted Crowd Control maneuvers (attempted, to say the least). I was not in attendance that evening. Dave Murphey, TK-1072 was present and filed the following Report:

Crowds were insane, the fragrance of Jack Daniels was constantly in the air, one party-goer insisted that his greatest wish was to give a Stormtrooper a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer;

Cass/Jane were in full Delta Force gear with additional people, Gene Arena (a buddy of mine who's also a Trooper) got his crotch grabbed by a guy taller than me (Dave is 6'-4" -editor) and twice as big as me and Mike put together (Mike - TK236, meaning this guy was HUGE -editor). Gene's only about 5'4" and when the guy told Gene "That's what I want!" I swear I've never seen a Trooper retreat so fast!;

People were really friendly with no fights or other nonsense breaking out (I'd like to think it was due to the increased Imperial presence, but in reality it was due to to our friends in the LASD), my feet still ache, and IT WAS A BLAST!

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Field Report #19

Time: 1600
Date: 2002.05.15
Location: Sector
XK3la (Hollywood; AOTC World Premiere)

Officer's Comments: The Garrison conducted Crowd Control maneuvers for two events - 11-May-2002 and 15-May-2002. The former event christened Episode II; Attack Of The Clones as a star-studded charity event. Various So. Cal. Garrison members were enlisted to provide Security and Ambiance duties. I was not in attendance that day. Kim, TK1173 was present and filed the following Report:

May 12th, 8 of our members braved 95 degree heat to work the Hollywood premiere of AOTC. On duty were five Stormtroopers (including one Sandtrooper), a Boba Fett, a Royal Guard, and of course, the Dark Lord himself, Vader. Although it was definitely bright (and hot) daylight, the stars were out! Sam Jackson and Ewan McGregor were just the tip of the iceberg! All those that were involved had a great time and did a fantastic job representing our garrison and the 501st!

Wednesday, May 15th a group of us headed down to Graumann's Chinese Theatre to work the crowd and try to do a little fundraising for The City of Hope. Since we weren't allowed to use our sign stating that we were collecting for charity, we didn't raise any funds but we had a great time with the crowd! We marched in ahead of the "LiningUp.com" theatre-goers and formed an honor guard of sorts as they entered the theatre. We had 4 Stormtroopers, one quasi-Clone Trooper, 3 Biker Scouts, 1 Jedi, 1 Boba Fett, 1 Zam Wesell, 2 Imperial Guards, 1 Gungan, and 1 Lord Vader.

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Field Report #18 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2001.10.31
Location: Sector
XK4la (West Hollywood Carnival- Halloween 2001)

Officer's Comments: (LONG-ASS report) The Garrison was advised of a Field Inspection, conducted by none other than once again the aged, but powerful Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader). Approximately 20 Garrison members took to Santa Monica Blvd, amidst a Halloween 2001 crowd of uhhhh, somewhere between 200,000 - 400,000 other fun-loving nuts and had a great time. The attendees were as follows:

Troopers: Dan R. (TK2112), Sywa (TK402) - from San Fransisco, Kevin (TK123), Rob (TK???), Ken (TK720), Mike (TK236), Me (TK861), Von (TK624), Dave M. (TK1072), Constance as an awesome Imperial Officer in a skirt, Max as Boba Fett & Dave B. as the aged Anakin - what a great surprise - he was unmasked, wearing only the breather apparatus of his helmet, war face exposed. A must see in the Gallery (once published).

Others: Cass (TK103) and his wife Jane (Joobi the Jawa) paid a tribute to our Armed Forces personnel by wearing Delta Force style gear, William (TK167) as a Jedi (traitor), Laura as a jedi, Leia as Ceremonial Leia (grin), Amanda as Rebel Leia, a guest TIE Pilot, a guest Jawa on steroids - or part of the group - I'm not sure, and last but not least - Thander as our Imperial Morale Officer.

We had a number of new members joining us that evening. Once again, Kudos to all the nuggets who attended and survived the evening with minimal equipment losses. Well, there were a few minor casualties. Never, ever take these Field Ops lightly. Be prepared... check your gear prior to each mission.

Being West Hollywood, it was difficult to tell one alien gender from another (grin). E'nuff said, other than everyone was happy to be having fun. Given the current state of affairs, the Los Angeles Sherrif's Department was out - in force. We had no problem in walking around with Blasters - something we considered before suiting up for the evening. In fact, the Troops were indeed very cool to us; asking us to hop on their patrol speeders for pics. Very cool. We even intercepted the Letter to Tom Brokaw and placed it under Imperial Arrest. That felt good... real good. We later saw Osama Bin Laden, however we were double timing back to the Imperial Shuttle and didn't have a chance to place him under Imperial Arrest... dammit.

We practically had to threaten the members of the rock band KISS (with Blasters) to pull 'em away from the women long enough to pose with us. Danny Bonaduce - currently a radio personality on STAR radio 98.7 FM in LA - formerly known as Danny Partridge from a series entitled The Partridge Family saw us in the crowd and asked us to join him on stage for their costume contest - We of course took first prize, as chosen by both popular vote and help from Bonaduce - thanks, Danny (grin).

TK236 spotted a double-decker bus, navigating the perimeter of the strip. I double-timed over to the front of the bus and ordered it to a halt - three other Troopers followed and we surrounded the bus. The driver gave a big-ass grin, and complied. Everyone atop the bus was yelling at the top of their lungs: "We've been pulled over by Stormtroopers! Bitchen! You guys ROCK!!!" Another commercial vehicle was given the right of way, then I waved on the double-decker bus. Very, very funny.

From various sources, we have confirmed reports that the Southern California Garrison was interviewed by a number of Terran media sources including:

CNN
FOX
An unknown Hispanic Channel - Max (Fett) ROCKED during this interview.
Another unknown channel - The blonde interviewer didn't even know where she was... Max REALLY rocked during this one and stole the interview. Lot'sa bleeps... hahahaha!!!

STAR Radio 98.7 FM - West Hollywood Halloween coverage - visit the link:
http://www.star987.com/photos.html - you'll see yours truly in a couple of the shots.
Military News Channel - Footage of us will be sent to our Forces overseas - VERY cool.

There are many other stories. This is only one officer's account. Be sure to visit the latest Halloween Gallery 2001 once it's complete for more details and blackmail opportunities. <grin>

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Field Report #17 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2001.07.21
Location: Sector DS6sd (San Diego Convention Center - ComicCon 2001)

Officer's Comments: The Fighting 501st Legion of Troopers once again took over San Diego's ComicCon 2001. The So. Cal. Garrison combined forces with members of the Northern California, Mountain and European Garrisons. Customary to last year, the folks at starwars.com let us know our show of force on the floor was appreciated - click here to go to the official page and check out their official photo archive of the event, featuring a number of our Legion and Garrison members.

This year, I wisened up and commanded a room along with TR-095 and TXP-1031 directly across from the Convention Center. HEAVEN! No bus rides, sitting down in full armor, etc. It was a nice 5 minute walk (across the street) to the convention center.

This year, 501st Legion members rubbed elbows with Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), Jeremy Bulloch (Boba Fett), Kenny Baker (R2D2), Warwick Davis (Wicket) and two kick-*ss Marines from Aliens.

As mentioned in the Holopics Section of this site, several Legion members were asked to participate in a gig that was featured on the LATE NIGHT show with David Letterman. A data link to the archived file at cbs.com is given in the Holopics Section.

With the anticipated number of Troopers attending this year's Dragon Con activities this summer in Atlanta Georgia, one must consider that the Star Wars Episode II Celebration slotted for 2002 is going to be huge... absolutely HUGE! If you own armor, this will be the place to be... The Mother of all Star Wars conventions/celebrations.

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Field Report #16 back to top of page

Time: 0600 Local
Date: 2000.06.03
Location: Sector DDd33dl (Downtown)

Officer's Comments: A small turnout of the local Garrison decided to accompany me to this particular location (Downtown Disney) in armor. We performed our RECON as early as possible this day and all went fairly well.

Due to careful planning, we were able to obtain a few Holoscans of our RECON. I would not suggest doing this in armor, since a lot of effort went into notifying the proper authorities PRIOR to our early visit. I should mention, once we alien types began attracting attention, we left as quietly as we had arrived.

TK167 can attest to the actual 'intracacy' of our departure... as we re-entered the 2-park main gate area (to get back to our Imperial Shuttle parked east of this sector), the Star Wars theme was playing over the PA system and could be heard throughout the location. A number of people were at the North gate awaiting entry to the classic theme park. As we entered the area (with Star Wars music triumphantly blasting away) ALL heads turned our way in unison. Our buckets were off, so we could be recognized as 'just plain old folk'... from several hundred yards away. We were trying to leave by stealth... Hearing the music, TK167 wanted to go over and schmooze with everyone... to his credit, it was part of our theme song. If they had played the Imperial March it would have been all over. Even I would have broken down and wanted to interact with the crowds. How can you deny the Call to Duty when the Imperial March is played?! Instead, we just kept walking away from everyone as if we were late for a very important date <grin>.

We are fans... merely fans. We spent the rest of the day (in civvies) at the Happiest Place On Earth - and had a blast.

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Field Report #15 back to top of page

Time: 1800
Local Date: 2000.01.12
Location: Sector USC04ls (University of Southern California)

Officer's Comments: Better late than never...

January 12th, 2000. USC school of Cinema-Television / Class CNTV 469: The Star Wars Experience - A lecture series devoted to the impact of George Lucas upon Hollywood and filmmaking. Several Garrison members were alerted to a suspected Rebel uprising taking place the night of the opening lecture.

Upon arrival, TK103 and I discovered a lone Rebel spreading lies and propaganda to approximately 300+ students attending the lecture. We each took a stance aside the suspect, grinning inside our Buckets while ensuring this Rebel did not sway the audience. (TK103 stands to the left side of the frame and I on the right). His rebellious confidence dissolved as Lord Vader and a Royal Guard entered the lecture hall to squelch this perpetrator.

The foolish dissident gave one last meager attempt to spread his misinformation when Lord Vader gave us the sign to place the suspect under Imperial Arrest. TK103 and I escorted the Rebel out of the hall to the nodding approval of the class professor (Drew Casper) and especially Vader.

We would like to thank the 'notorious' Anonymous Director - famed for his Episode I and II fan-made trailers - for the initial Situation Report and capturing the arrest of the dissident on digital media. Watch it from the HOLOVIDS section, or simply click HERE.

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Field Report #14 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2001.05.12
Location: Sector XJ8rp (Southern Renaissance Pleasure Faire - 2001)

Officer's Comments: As stated last year in this sector, we stormed the Castle. Not this year... it could be written that the Castle stormed on us. The weather forecasting agency (not an Imperial agency) predicted Partially Cloudy skies. It was indeed overcast. No sun. For us Stormtroopers, this was G R E A T! What a wonderful time to be in a Bodyglove. We marched Imperially through the main gate and it began to rain - lightly. As the day continued the precipitation intensified.

Troopers TK167, TK236 and myself took direction from ID427, our Imperial Officer who performed flawlessly in leading around a group of guys that can't see where the heck they're going. (TK236 and I need to overhaul our condensation scrubbers - our eye lenses fogged up a lot). I had recently modified my lightweight Bucket by cutting the grill holes for better ventilation. This did help, but the ambient dewpoint contributed towards producing an even greater condensation factor. The Imperial ventilation fans (CPU fan) or anti-fogger must be employed in these conditions.

We walked around the entire Faire and the players (workers) were quite interactive. Due to the weather conditions, the Faire attendance was light. This gave the actors a chance to participate with us, while staying in character. Most enjoyable - as if a Trooper can have fun whilst on Duty. By this time, the rain fell steadily. We looked like we had gone right into the heart of Uncle Owen's moisture farm equipment. It was a great effect as the armor does not soak up the rain... it merely builds up and beads away. Other folks were drenched - we were completely dry (encased in the armor) and enjoying the rain <bigger grin>. Even during the precip, civilians asked for pictures.

As is typical in Field Missions, we were continuously stopped for photo (holoscan) images. We always comply. In fact, one father stated his young son - who is a HUGE Star Wars fan and collector - wanted to see us up close, but was apprehensive of the meeting. That happens with many young ones. We had just settled in for a backstage break and told him we would certainly stop over for a picture and greet his son. After our break, we discovered the family had patiently waited for us - I shook hands with their son, who at first didn't know what the heck to think about actually shaking a Trooper's hand... then he lit up. We took several pictures with him while the camera operator (dad) grinned ear-to-ear. It occurred to me that father was more of the fan <grin>.

Kudos to TK236 for completing his first Garrison Field Mission under these environmental conditions.

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Field Report #13 back to top of page

Time: 2130 Local
Date: 2000.12.08
Location: Sector ANH33dl (Disneyland, CA)

Officer's Comments: In an impromptu meeting, various members gathered at a local Imperial Field Repair Station to obtain replacement parts for our aging gear. After our sit-rep, several Imperial Shuttles took us over to a theme park known as "Disneyland USA".

Two Garrison members (names are classified) had the fortune of entering the park with their Biker Scout Buckets [Big Grin] - incognito. Photo ops abounded inside and around numerous rides and attraction areas. Later in the evening, we had the good fortune of intercepting a Jedi Knight, fully dressed in authentic clothing - right down to the boots, robes and saber - we immediately placed him under Imperial Arrest.

Several Ride Operators stopped to observe us Imperials in action. They were quite friendly and were actually eager to watch us do our thing... and took the time to engage us, smiling all the way. :-) Digital images will be available soon. We remove our Trooper Buckets in salute to the Cast and Crew of Disneyland who made us feel welcomed by taking the time to help fans in action!

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Field Report #12

Time: 1630 Local
Date: 2000.11.11
Location: Sector UCW6la (Universal City Walk, Universal City)

Officer's Comments: Several members of the Garrison were asked to escort Richard LeParmentier, known as Admiral Motti in Star Wars, A New Hope. He was the officer who dared challenge Lord Vader during an Imperial Top Brass meeting aboard the Death Star. Vader in turn, commences with a two-finger Force choke hold until Grand Moff Tarkin demands the release of the suffering Admiral.

Mr. LeParmentier made an autograph-signing appearance at a sci-fi/horror movie memorabilia store named "THEM!" - part of the "Things From Another World" store - located within the Universal City Walk.

The gig was great. Once Admiral Motti showed up, TK8356 and I escorted him to his table outside on the City Walk, where we stood IMPERIALLY guarding our Admiral. It certainly drew a crowd over to Richard (and us). At first, people didn't know what to make of us... however once the first picture was taken, that was all she wrote. We were swamped. Vader showed up a little while later. Then, we were REALLY swamped.

We stood at Imperial attention, posed for pictures, got kissed by women who actually said: "I've always wanted to kiss an Imperial Stormtrooper!"... no kidding, that did happen to both of us Troopers. We figured, it was better to comply and let the Rebels think we're a pushover. When it came time to them attempting to grab our Blasters, they found out who's in charge. :)

To review the holopic associated with this Field Report, check out the Trooper Antics page within the Gallery section.

Thanks to the crew at Things From Another World and Them. If you're ever in their sector, be sure to check them out.

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Field Report #11 back to top of page

Time: 1600 Local
Date: 2000.10.27
Location: Sector DZ6oc (Fullerton Plaza - KLOS's Mark & Brian annual Halloween Parade)

Officer's Comments: The expanding Southern California Garrison of Troopers spread Imperialism through the streets of Downtown Fullerton in Orange County. We were #10 of 75 groups of participants marching in this annual parade. Quite a few vehicles in the parade were carefully lighted, so the parade route was dark. It's a damned good thing us Troopers are clad in white (so the crowds could see us)... our Dark Lords and other personnel were armed with plasma sabers. We couldn't see where the hell we were walking (fogged eye lenses), but still managed to get roars from the crowds. George Lucas' Galaxy is very much alive!

Following is a listing of Troopers and Trooperettes in attendance that evening:

Vader - Dave (Big Stretch)
Maul - Van (Skippie)
TR095 - Jeff (Big Red)
TK103 - Cass (Gunny)
TK167 - William (Wicket)
TK369 - Gary (Gare)
TK420 - Rick (BugOff)
TK469 - Rob (Hooraah!)
TKxxx - Lee (BlackBoots)
TK713 - Tom (Lando)
TK861 - Me (Burners)
TI201 - Shannon
TB5150 - Lynn (Crazy Blonde)

Joobi the Jawa - Jane (Doc)
Fett - Lisa
Leia - Beth
Obi-Mom Kenobi - Betty Jo
Mara Jade - Constance
DJ - Tony (DJ)

As indicated, the Garrison had an awesome turnout for this exercise. Vader and Joobi the Jawa tied for winning the crowds over. The parade's marching pace was a CRAWL at best, and thanks to the Royal Guard (Jeff) for leading us... especially when he has the darkest, narrowest field of view! Great job, Red.

Halfway through the route, Princess Leia started rockin' the House by bringing the crowds to their feet in cheer! And speaking of rockin' da house, thanks to new member Tony (in civvies) for being cool enough to carry the sound system, blasting the crowds with the Imperial March whilst we had ear-to-ear grins inside our buckets, listening to our theme in stride.

We were placed behind 4 Elvis impersonators - 3 of 'em driving 85mph pro-carts. Being placed directly behind the Elvis dudes in the carts was a trip... literally. At one inch off the ground, these Kings of the Street were doing 40 mph in second gear, and performing "donuts" - quick 360's. Too bad my Blaster didn't work. As we approached Mark & Brian, I really wanted to arrest them for speeding and reckless driving, but there wasn't a good moment to do so... they got too far ahead of us at that point! That would have been a cool gig with the crowds!

I had a HUGE warm fuzzie when I heard Brian Phelps (on the AIR) stating... "OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THESE STORMTROOPERS! They're THE MOST accurate ones I've ever seen!" The parade was taped live, which means they will actually broadcast it during their show on 95.5 KLOS during their 6am - 10am window Tuesday, October 31st.

After the parade, we marched Imperially towards a stage where The Tubes were going to hold a free concert. A HIGHLY intoxicated female Rebel spotted us and immediately converted to the Imperial side, screaming we looked so cool!. To show her appreciation, she attempted to shove her tongue down not only my throat, as well as Mara Jade's... after trying to mount Vader from behind!!! HAHAHAHA What a TRIP!!! I've already scrubbed my armor with Antibacterial cleansers to disinfect her assault against us using deadly cotton candy. (grin)

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Field Report #10 - The unveiling of ROGUE - the movie back to top of page

Time: 0630 Local
Date: 2000.11.04
Location: Sector UCC7la (Undisclosed Movie Studio, Universal City)

In late October of 2000, several members of the Southern California Garrison were fortunate enough to take part in a fan film which was scheduled for release in early 2001. We were instructed to remain zip-lipped (sworn to secrecy) about the project and have kept our word... until now! The 60-second Trailer for the 20-minute length film entitled ROGUE, is now featured at the Force.net under the Fan Films section. The official ROGUE website may be found by clicking here. The movie will debut at AlphaCon in Omaha, Nebraska in April, 2001. The writer/producer of ROGUE (James DeRuvo) and director/producer (Dave Bundtzen) will appear at AlphaCon for the premiere of their movie. For a list of scheduled SW celebs and attendees at AlphaCon, click here.

I MUST note for the record... since the outdoor scenes were filmed during weekdays, TK's -151, -167 and myself were involved in the weekend shooting only. We are the ONLY Troopers who survive (not to give anything away) in the movie. Welp, TK167 may have not survived the cutting room floor, it is difficult to tell. It's an evil galaxy.

TK420 earned the nickname of "BuggOff"... whilst appearing in the the outdoor scenes shot in October. TK420 had to apply bug spray to himself and especially, the armor! It turned out that a certain type of wasp had a fond appreciation for the white armor and Troopers were desperate to ward them off. Unfortunately, the bug spray left minute pits in the surface of the armor.

TK167 earned the nickname of "Applebox"... You see, -167 is admittedly, a short chap but he's okay with that. He's perhaps a foot shorter than I am, yet we both get hammered with the enduring question: "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?!". For the film sequences -167 appeared in, the Director of ROGUE asked William (167) to stand on a stack of appleboxes - a Hollywood term for a small wooden crate or step, used to elevate an actor (or object) to a desired height. Thus, amongst his fellow Trooper Brethren, -167 is commonly referred to as "Applebox". It's a cruel galaxy.


TK861 enjoys an after-duty Gin N' Tonic whilest TK369 fancies a Samuel Adams

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Field Report #9 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2000.07.21
Location: Sector DS6sd (San Diego Convention Center - ComicCon 2000)

Officer's Comments: The Fighting 501st Legion of Troopers took over San Diego's ComicCon 2000. The So. Cal. Garrison combined forces with members of the Canadian and European Garrisons:

TK/TD/TB741 - Stéphane Desrosiers (Biker Scout and Trooper) - Canadian

TK264 - Marc Baier (Trooper) - Swiss
TB269 - Pascal Biondi (Biker Scout) - Swiss
ID742 - Oliver (as Imperial Officer) - German

Since our hotel was several miles away from the Con, we had to ride a shuttle bus to arrive at the venue. The bus was of the nice coach variety... but have you ever seen a Stormtrooper sitting? Well, neither have we! ;) Very few of our Troopers can sit without a lot of hassle while wearing armor. Needless to say, the Imperial shuttle rides were painful. <Grin>

Upon arrival at the Con, we were deluged with requests for pictures. We met up with new recruits and stormed the convention floor. The typical routine:

Walk forward 10 feet, stop for pictures. Strike the Imperial pose... <flash, click, flash, click, wind, flash> move a little <flash, click, flash, wind. "Hey guys! Can I get a picture?!" flash, click, flash>

Fortunately for Troopers, the smoked eye lenses provide flash protection. Little did I realize how much of a blessing this is. Non-bucket wearing members filed reports of being flash-blinded by the end of each day. Our resident Darth Maul still has dreams of seeing nothing but flashes in the middle of the night. <evil grin>

Because of the popularity of Star Wars characters (biased mode = ON) - especially Stormtroopers - we stopped for many pictures throughout the day. Con Security was on the ball, telling us to keep moving, else we would/did create a traffic jam. <another evil grin> We are, for the record, trying to please all the people who stop us and ask for a picture. There's no greater compliment, and we try to make the moment a lasting one for the people. We place a lot of guys - and a few gals - under imperial arrest:

Most of our 'victims' were forced to their knees, hands on their heads - and GRINNING EAR TO EAR in the process. Very cool indeed, for all. (picture used by permission of CollectStarWars.com - pay 'em a visit)

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Field Report #8 back to top of page

Time: 1000 Local
Date: 2000.05.28
Location: Sector XJ8rp (Southern Renaissance Pleasure Faire - 2000)

Officer's Comments: The So. Cal. Garrison traveled back in time to the Renaissance period, via the Renaissance Pleasure Faire. Yeppirs, we stormed the castle, on a blistering 110-degree Memorial Day weekend. Why…because we too, have armor and wanted to share the moment of wearing armor with other Knights of Bold. Curiously, we didn't find a single knight clad in metal armor - I believe they were of sound mind, and didn't dare show themselves in our presence…. Yeah, right. They were darned smart and stayed in the shade, whilst us BucketHeads baked our brains - and armor - in the heat of the high desert.

Due to the theme of the Ren Faire, we thought we'd get a lot of criticism by fellow guests and Faire participants… we were wrong. Even before reaching the front gates, the resident Puritans spotted the Garrison, ran over to us, bowed down on their knees, and paid homage to their uhhh, icons clad in white. We were stunned. In true form, TR095 stoically approached the Puritan in front, lowered his force pike to the left, then the right shoulder of the Puritan in a gesture of bestowing the man with Imperial Knight status. The Puritan thrust himself backwards (from the kneeling position), landed square on his back with a resounding "thud", and began to convulse wildly, hailing his maker, exclaiming he had been Knighted. Truly a sight not-to-be forgotten…and a tremendous sense of improvisation by the Puritans. Well met! Throughout the day, we stood at Imperial Attention as parades went by, and then of course fell into procession at the tail end of said parades…with Blasters poised. What a trip! We were (rather easily) enslaved by some of the wenches of the Faire, who attempted to auction us off, proclaiming "Stormtrooper for sale! C'mon now, Imperial Stormtrooper for saaaaaale!"

Aaahhhh, the Musicians… They were cool! Throughout the day, we were treated to renditions of the Imperial March (our theme song). At the Friggin' Faire! As parades would walk by, the marching musicians would spot us, and break into Imperial theme solos. We were honored. From tubas and trombones to drums and period recorders, they showed their enthusiasm and support of our appearance.

Our Trooper Buckets off in salute to the Cast and Friends of the Southern Renaissance Pleasure Faire, 2000… and a personal thanks to the Puritans who saved us from baking in the armor.

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Field Report #7 back to top of page

Time: 1330 Local
Date: 2000.06.10
Location: Sector XJ5cn (Children's Cancer Survivor Annual Picnic, City of Hope)

Officer's Comments: The Southern California Garrison was alerted to a large Rebel gathering in aforementioned Sector (Griffith Park, Los Angeles Basin). No sooner than receiving the alert, the Garrison set out to investigate said disturbance.

We Troopers are extremely loyal and this excursion proved our unswerving devotion to the Empire. We were ordered to investigate without our Blasters! Not questioning the directive, we proceeded directly to the location, leaving our Blasters in the stockade - The orders said NOTHING about carrying our Thermal Detonators…

Our Advanced Jawa Scout had arrived on-scene prior to the rest of the Garrison. Our informant's assessment made us grin… Upon arrival, we indeed found hundreds of Rebels - of all shapes and sizes - carrying on in a complete nonmilitary manner; almost as though it were some kind of social picnic. A split-second analysis of the situation told us these Rebels would succumb easily to the Empire. Without the need for Blasters, we won the hearts and minds of all the Rebels, convincing them the Empire is Good, not Bad. We "mingled" with the Rebels. Later in the afternoon, our efforts were rewarded by a surprise inspection by the Emperor (Darth Sidious) himself, with only 1 Imperial Guard and Lord Vader by his side for protection - er, uhh, he was also accompanied by some sort of evil Jedi chick and uuuhh, evil Dark Queen.

During the advanced scouting, our Jawa informant spotted a main transportation unit carrying Rebel forces and supplies (a supply train). TK151 strategically planted his Thermal Detonator between two cars and set the timing device for delayed detonation. Once the train was underway, the Thermal unit successfully triggered, derailing the train, rendering the tracks useless. Well, for a few minutes at least .

TR095 was confronted multiple times by an unusual Rebel. This tall, fury (Not Chewbacca), long-snouted individual showed clear signs of resistance to the Empire with clear ill intentions against Imperial personnel. The Rebel (McRuff) met his match when he pushed TR095's patience. During obvious displays of non-devotion to the Empire - directly against TR095 - the Imperial Guard let loose with a head butt to the perpetrator's nose. The Rebel could be heard muttering: "The Empire is good… the Empire is good…" the rest of the day.

In an official capacity, part of the Garrison Contingency raided a local Officer's Club later that evening, spreading Imperialism to other Sectors, whilst pounding Kamikazies.

If you can, please donate to the City of Hope. The staff are wonderful people, they truly show their care for the children. I saw kids that have gone through so much, yet their smiles shine as bright as the sun. Help to keep them smiling, won't you?

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Field Report #6 back to top of page

Time: 1545 Local
Date: 2000.01.02
Location: Sector XJ10sd (Magic of Myth - San Diego)

Officer's Comments: During the Revisitation to Magic Of Myth, the Star Wars Celebration, our Imperial Outpost discovered the Terrans at Balboa Park, San Diego were celebrating the new Millennium in style! Concession stands, vendors and activities booths were everywhere... and so were the people! We were once again... MOBBED by fans of Star Wars and picture takers. Very cool. There were a couple of hilarious moments:

In the middle of striking the Imperial Pose, a little girl walked up to me for a picture. Since we can't see the little ones once they get in close directly in front of us, I'll typically reach down, gently take their shoulder and bring them in closer, just so I know where they are. Children also have a tendency to stare AT us... with their backside to the camera. Parents have a difficult time getting their their critters to turn around for the picture! ;-) So the next thing I'll do is get the little ones to turn around...

I missed this little one. It's as if she disappeared, so I waited for the next victim, ER, critter to come up for a picture. Suddenly, I realized the little girl was still there, as she apparently reached up and grabbed my COD PIECE and asked "What's this?!" Since my cod piece is cut, it can move around. She wouldn't let go, and I wanted to die! She again asked "What's this!?" Her parents saw this, because they were laughing HYSTERICALLY. I wanted to blast 'em all, but hers was an innocent little gesture, just as Art Linkletter pointed out in "Kids Say The Darndest Things". Us Troopers know our history, pal!

Her mom came up and pulled her daughter away, apologizing to me. I sheepishly replied "It's okay"... but I still wanted to blast 'em. On the outside, I was calm, cool and collected. On the inside, I was redder than Santa's Cap.

*

TK167 had a similar experience (sort of). As we were leaving, a young critter ran up to TK167 and wanted a picture. Being the good chap he is, -167 obliged. However, the critter's parent with the camera was some distance away and the critter started yelling for Mom to run over and take a picture. -167 let his guard down for a moment and lowered his Blaster. As soon as he did so, the critter latched onto the muzzle of the blaster and WOULD NOT let go! He had to have a picture with a Trooper and it was obvious he would not let go of the Blaster until the picture was taken.

TK167 tried to gently pull away, but the critter wouldn't back off. He knew his destiny and wasn't going to give in. It was really a Kodak moment to see this critter hanging onto TK167's Blaster just like it was an adult's hand. They paced around a little bit... the critter hung on. -167 threw his other arm up in gesture, as if to say "What am I supposed to do???!" His fellow Troopers were ROLLING! Eventually mom or dad arrived with camera and the critter's destiny was fulfilled. He let go of the Blaster. :-)

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Field Report #5 back to top of page

Time: 2030 Local
Date: 99.10.31
Location: Sector XG4b

Officer's Comments: The Imperial Outpost raid on Universal City Walk was an incredible experience. Although we wielded Blasters, told people to make way for Lord Vader and placed suspected Rebels under Imperial Arrest, the evening had a few significant moments from The Other Side... At a time of being very, very busy striking the Imperial Pose, I noticed a wheel chair approaching us. It was obvious the young man in the chair would never have a chance of posing as a Trooper himself and my heart felt for they guy. As I reached out a Trooper's gloved hand to take hold of his (he couldn't grip very well), another hand shot out to grab mine. It was his mother,and I instantly pulled back, thinking I had done something wrong...

Without hesitation, this mom took a VERY strong grip on my hand (I was surprised) and wouldn't let me pull back. She wanted me to stay with her son, our hands clasped around each other. A spoken word was never exchanged, she just made sure he got a good feeling for my gloved hand and the backhand protector plate. Without sounding too mushy, for that moment in time, none of my Fellow Troopers existed... there was no crowd. It was just the three of us, the bonding of the hands. On the outside, I was one calm, cool, mean StormTrooper, inside the armor was a man who was melting... not necessarily from the heat.

I then realized this young man IS indeed a Trooper... and then some! He keeps going, he's not giving up. He'll always be a Trooper in my book! To that mom and son I say "Thank you"... that will be a moment I never forget.

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Field Report #4 back to top of page

Time: 1310 Local
Date: 99.10.29
Location: Sector XG3a

Officer's Comments: Having explored every corner of Sectors XG2 and XG2a, I decided to move on to the neighboring sector, XG3. The results were quite rewarding on both a career level and *personal* level. (Personal level data was NOT included on official report to Lord Vader -- You kidding? If that domed dude knew I had THIS much fun on the job, I'd be on the FIRST freighter bound for my Home Galaxy! 'Nuff said, as you Terrans put it!) I crashed some sort of corporate "Halloween Party", under way at a certain company within Sector XG3.

I was rewarded with discovering a young Jedi Knight, identifiable by his style of robes and a thin braid of long hair, worn to one side. I immediately approached the young Padawan and attempted to incarcerate him...

TK861: Let me see some identification!

Padawan: I'm Obi-Wan... (Waving his frikkin' hand in front of me) You don't need to see my identification.

Officer's other comments: Yeah, right... Pal! I've been down this road before, you're not going to fool me THIS time. I went along with his so-called magic Bantha fodder material...

TK861: That's okay, I don't need to see your identification...

Padawan: I can go about my business...

TK861: You can go about your business... There's nothing to see here... Move along! Move along!

As the foolish padawan strutted away in a cocky manner, I pounced the tall thin suspect and pinned him down, my blaster ready for business. The young Jedi tried to activate his lightsaber but it was of no use... and he knew it. I arrested him on the spot. We are currently holding the Jedi in a temporary detention cell and await further instruction. Holoscans (pictures) of the incident are available on the first Gallery page.

*

Now for the personal side... As I was standing guard in front of a door leading to a suspected meeting of alleged rebels, I spotted a female Terran. She stood no more than 2 meters away and could not take her eyes off me. Yeah, sure... it was the uniform. We Stormtroopers are used to that, but you could just tell what she was thinking. Believe me, her body language told the whole story. I think I'm going to enjoy this new sector...

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Field Report #3 back to top of page

Time: 2244 Local
Date: 99.10.27
Location: Sector XG2a

 

Officer's Comments: I found myself becoming quite familiar with this sector... it's rather boring. There aren't enough things to blast away. No Banthas to ride, no Jawas to harass. Only suspected Rebels walking around here and there. It's just too quiet. I decided to harass my next victim, just because they deserved it. Following is my third encounter...

TK861: Do you have identification?

Victim: Who are you?

TK861: Someone WAS in the pod… the tracks lead off in this direction.

Victim: Where did you come from?!

TK861: Look sir, Droids!

Victim: Huh?

TK861: There's one! Set for Stun!

Victim: Martha, this guy's on something…

TK861: The Death Star plans are NOT in the Main Computer.

Victim: I uhh, think I'll be going now...

TK861: Do you have identification?

I went off in one direction, he turned around and almost walked into a wall. I obviously took this guy by surprise. Just leaving him in a stupor was sufficient prevention against an incident. No need to blast him... yet.

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Field Report #2 back to top of page

Time: 2315 local
Date: 99.10.26
Location: Sector XG2a

 

Officer's Comments: I was completing my rounds in this sector (uneventful to this point) when several Terrans approached me...

Terrans: Wow! We know who you are! You're TK421!

TK861 (Incredulously): You... No, I'm TK861... You know of my Trooper Brethren?! I hadn't heard that designation in... years.

Terrans: That's way cool! You guys get jumped, man! You can't hit the broadside of a barn door! I've seen it in the movies, man! You guys look cool, but you suck! Your blaster shots go every...

TK861: That's enough outta you, mister. One more Bantha fodder from you and I'm placing you under Imperial arrest! We train hard, ya know. Sure, our Boss is Lord Vader, but we actually report to a higher Supreme Being who has different plans for us...

Terrans: Uhhh... woahh! This sounds deep! WHO!!!??

TK861: Lucas. George Lucas... ya heard of him?

Terrans: You work for Lucas?!?!

TK861: No, No, No! I'm just from his galaxy, far, far away. You see, I've been assigned TDY to your galaxy.

Terrans: TD What? Waaayyy cool!

TK861: "Well, it's a long story, but of course Mr. Lucas needs the Rebels to actually have a chance, so we train REAL hard to look REAL cool, even though we sometimes get pounced. Those Ewoks... I'm telling you. That took the .... how do you say??? THAT took the CAKE! Nature's stumpy little furballs with bulging glassy eyes. The worst they could do was make a fist and hit our cod pieces! We're ARMORED baby! Oh sure, fling some puny rocks on us and tell us we've gotta fall on our asses and act dead!? Talk to the armor, baby! Well, I was about to arrest you for harassing an officer, but you know of my buddy, 421. Haven't seen him in years. Oh, by the way, do you have identification..."

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Field Report #1 back to top of page

Date/Time: 99.10.23 / 1635
Local Sector: Earth/USA/CA Sector XG2 - lat/long coordinates *classified*
Officer: TK861

Officer's Comments: On a routine foot patrol in Sector G2, I encountered the alleged perpetrator suspected of having rebellious ties, who was yelling something to his alleged wife and pointing at me...

Victim: Look, honey, Star Wars!

TK861: Good afternoon sir. Do you own or rent this domicile?

Victim: I uhhh, I don't own.... I just work here.... Who are you?!

TK861: Sir, I'm TK861... I'm newly assigned to this sector and patrolling the vicinity. We've been alerted to be on the lookout for... well, I'll need to see your Identification.

Victim: I don't have... I don't show my ID to just anyone.

TK861: Are you saying you don't have proper ID?

Victim: (fidgeting, looking suspicious) I uhhh, gee, who are…?

TK861: Sir, you're refusing an Imperial Stormtrooper?! Okay, this will go on report, ya know. My superiors will be in touch with you. You may want to be sure your papers are in order…

I turned down the volume on my voice system. Masked behind the helmet, I was grinning ear-to-ear as I walked away from the incident, holstering my blaster. I heard the victim saying "That was cool. Who is that guy? What papers am I supposed to…?"

That will get the Rebels stirring!

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This site is in no way sponsored or endorsed by: George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd., LucasArts Entertainment Co., or any affiliates. Star Wars and all its characters are © and TM by Lucasfilm Ltd. Thanks to Mr. Lucas for having such a great vision and allowing us fans to share our enthusiasm with others. If anything on this site poses a problem, please let me know and I'll correct it immediately.

Additionally, all appearances by myself and our Trooper group are performed strictly for our own maniacal fun and we never collect a fee.


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